I have search for years for any kind of proof, and last night knowing Charles died in the Civil War I checked fold3.com to see if there was a pension record for her. There I found 13 pages giving me her marriage date and place. She was married on 12 Jan 1854 in Pembroke, Genesee, New York. It says she was Harriet Wait from Cicero, New York. More proof that she is most likely the daughter for Phoebe and Gardiner. It also leaves me with more questions. What was she doing in Pembroke, Genesee, New York? There are Waites in Darien, very close to Pembroke with similar first names. Does this mean that the Darien and Cicero Waite families are related?
Then as I was entering the new information into my tree a leaf popped up, a link to Find-a-grave for Harriet. I examined the memorial for Harriet where she is listed as Harriet Waite Felton. It lists her as a daughter of Henry and Phoebe. I checked for Charles, he has a memorial in this cemetery. So I contacted the creator of the memorial and found out that the information came of the cemetery records. So could Gardiner be Gardiner Henry Waite or Henry Gardiner Waite? He does have a grandson named Henry.
I welcome the questions, for I give me new ideas!